Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
House of Mirth~Be True To Yourself
As I started reading "The House of Mirth" by Edith Wharton I initially thought that I'd quite like Lily's character as a bit of a free spirit who was well aware of the "rules" of the social circle she moved in, but was determined to still keep true to herself. While speaking with Seldon about Gerty Farish, she states "But we're so different, you know: she likes being good, and I like being happy." By the end of the book, I felt quite disappointed in poor Lily. I'll concede that it's hard to see the viewpoint of a character whose life is so far removed (in time and a myriad of other ways) from my own, and that maybe it shouldn't be disappointment I feel, but pity that a set of patriarchal ideas has so completely overshadowed these people and wreaked havoc on their lives. As Seldon noted a few moments after Lily's comment; "She was so evidently the victim of the civilization which had produced her, that the links of her bracelet seemed like manacles chaining her to her fate."
Logically, I should understand that Lily is just trying to play the game as she knows it to be-to be guided by the constraints placed on her by society. The problem is, that is exactly what upsets me. If a fictional character from a long ago era makes decisions based on societal norms instead of what she knows or feels to be right, that's really no issue. What gets me is that I've seen this so much in my own personal experiences with the world, that I know it's not fiction. I see people every day who essentially put on a mask and move about the world as if they were someone else. I feel this is a residual effect of patriarchy that may have changed shape over time, but has remained as large as ever, and it's an effect that hurts both men and women, just as it did in "The House of Mirth"
Lily's position in society is so tenuous that to remain, she has to put on an act that has been dictated to her. While everyone in the society must adhere to the constraints, there is much more "wiggle" room for the men than the women, and single women had even more constraints than married women. This is often the same in today's society. It pains me to see people who are clearly unhappy continue on with a pretense for the sake of appearances. It worries me even more when I see young women, putting on what could only be described as a show, for the benefit of men. It seems that both Lily and many women of today, go about in search of the perfect match for marriage in a way that could not possibly yield a match, as there is nothing shown of their true selves to match. If I could I would tell young people of today (and Lily) to think more along the lines of something Carry Fisher said: "Look here, Lily, don't let's beat about the bush; half of the trouble in life is caused by pretending there isn't any. That's not my way..."
In closing, I'd say that my opinion of Lily was greatly affected by how I view people in this time. I want people to be happy and true to themselves, because I have learned that life is a lot easier that way, and it frustrates me when I see other people making mistakes I may have made. I like Lily Bart, but just want to shake her and tell her "Be yourself! Speak up for yourself! In the end, your life will be so much better for it!" Or at least she might still be alive....
*Background photo by Charles Dana Gibson
Logically, I should understand that Lily is just trying to play the game as she knows it to be-to be guided by the constraints placed on her by society. The problem is, that is exactly what upsets me. If a fictional character from a long ago era makes decisions based on societal norms instead of what she knows or feels to be right, that's really no issue. What gets me is that I've seen this so much in my own personal experiences with the world, that I know it's not fiction. I see people every day who essentially put on a mask and move about the world as if they were someone else. I feel this is a residual effect of patriarchy that may have changed shape over time, but has remained as large as ever, and it's an effect that hurts both men and women, just as it did in "The House of Mirth"
Lily's position in society is so tenuous that to remain, she has to put on an act that has been dictated to her. While everyone in the society must adhere to the constraints, there is much more "wiggle" room for the men than the women, and single women had even more constraints than married women. This is often the same in today's society. It pains me to see people who are clearly unhappy continue on with a pretense for the sake of appearances. It worries me even more when I see young women, putting on what could only be described as a show, for the benefit of men. It seems that both Lily and many women of today, go about in search of the perfect match for marriage in a way that could not possibly yield a match, as there is nothing shown of their true selves to match. If I could I would tell young people of today (and Lily) to think more along the lines of something Carry Fisher said: "Look here, Lily, don't let's beat about the bush; half of the trouble in life is caused by pretending there isn't any. That's not my way..."
In closing, I'd say that my opinion of Lily was greatly affected by how I view people in this time. I want people to be happy and true to themselves, because I have learned that life is a lot easier that way, and it frustrates me when I see other people making mistakes I may have made. I like Lily Bart, but just want to shake her and tell her "Be yourself! Speak up for yourself! In the end, your life will be so much better for it!" Or at least she might still be alive....
*Background photo by Charles Dana Gibson
Sunday, November 9, 2014
The Color Purple: Post-Marriage Relationships
While I thoroughly enjoyed reading all of the book; The Color Purple by Alice Walker, I especially enjoyed the final chapters of the book, the parts the motion picture had left out. The part I especially loved were Celie and Albert's reconciliation. This part was almost completely left out of the movie, with Celie not really seeing Albert after she curses him, but in the book, we journey with Celie as she navigates one of the most challenging relationships I can imagine; redefining a relationship with an ex-spouse. I was enthralled by the unfolding of this new relationship and was very happy to see that Ms. Walker was brave enough to write it in a way that showed the depth of emotion, yet left both characters as whole human beings. As a woman who has had to navigate this kind of relationship-inasmuch as it is a relationship with an ex-spouse, not as in similar circumstances-I felt this subject was handled so beautifully that I felt myself wanting to sit on the porch and sew with my ex.
I felt that Ms. Walker really handled this relationship in a way that more resembled real life as opposed to a clean ending where Celie curses Mr._____ and walks out, leaving us to always revile him as a flat, one dimensional, evil character. In this slow rebuilding, Celie had agency and was able to choose the direction the relationship took, yet Albert was shown to have depth of character and became more than Mr._____, but a real person with personal heartbreaks too. Celie went from being a non-person who was just a cog in the machine of patriarchy, to a woman who fully owned herself and exercised control over her life, even as she struggled to make sense of it. In essence, Celie became a feminist.
At the same time, we learn that Albert isn't just some evil old devil man without a soul, but another victim-albeit less obviously so-of the patriarchy. His life was corrupted by his father's beliefs and his heart and soul suffered because of it. We learn that while he was the dominant force in upholding the patriarchy, his real self seems to flourish when that dominance is surrendered and he starts to treat Celie, and others, as equals. It's a beautiful example of how the patriarchy and feminism really are intertwined and affecting everyone, as opposed to a pure allegory of men vs. women.
I felt that Ms. Walker really handled this relationship in a way that more resembled real life as opposed to a clean ending where Celie curses Mr._____ and walks out, leaving us to always revile him as a flat, one dimensional, evil character. In this slow rebuilding, Celie had agency and was able to choose the direction the relationship took, yet Albert was shown to have depth of character and became more than Mr._____, but a real person with personal heartbreaks too. Celie went from being a non-person who was just a cog in the machine of patriarchy, to a woman who fully owned herself and exercised control over her life, even as she struggled to make sense of it. In essence, Celie became a feminist.
At the same time, we learn that Albert isn't just some evil old devil man without a soul, but another victim-albeit less obviously so-of the patriarchy. His life was corrupted by his father's beliefs and his heart and soul suffered because of it. We learn that while he was the dominant force in upholding the patriarchy, his real self seems to flourish when that dominance is surrendered and he starts to treat Celie, and others, as equals. It's a beautiful example of how the patriarchy and feminism really are intertwined and affecting everyone, as opposed to a pure allegory of men vs. women.
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